Confidence When You Need It

Sitting in an interview or standing up to make a presentation is much easier when you are feeling confident. Confidence gives you a presence and an inner strength. Appearing confident makes you more attractive to your listeners – they listen to what you say. Being confident makes you appear in control of a situation. So wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could ‘flick a switch’ and turn on confidence when you need it? Well you can – and here’s how in 5 easy steps.

Firstly, let’s explore and play. Remember a time when you felt totally confident – fully in control – feeling I can easily do this! As you remember that event, see what you saw then, hear what you heard, and feel how you felt. Just re-live the situation until you are actually ‘there’ – seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, and feeling what you felt. You may also have a particular smell or taste associated with the experience – if so, smell what you smelt and taste what you tasted. Let the sights, sounds and feelings come over you. Now you have that feeling of confidence in your body that you had during that past event. Doesn’t it feel great!

Even if you have not got a memory of a time you felt totally confident, you can imagine it. One of the wonderful things about the human mind is its ability to dream – to imagine – to create in your mind a situation where you are totally confident and fully in control. And as you do, notice what you see, what you hear, and what you feel. Even this imagined scenario of feeling totally confident and fully in control causes your body to actually have those feelings. Your body cannot tell the difference between a real and an imagined scenario and gives you the feelings.

You can also imagine what a person you admire feels, whether that person is a movie star, a politician or somebody you work with. In your mind, you can imagine that person in a particular situation – perhaps in an interview or perhaps giving a presentation – and you can see what they would see, hear what they would hear, and feel the total confidence they have – the feeling of being fully in control. As you do, notice that you actually feel the confidence!

So now that you know you can feel the confidence in an imagined scenario, you can also aggrandize or enhance your own memory of that time you felt confident. As you re-live that experience – as you see what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel the confidence, feel totally in control – just heighten the feelings – turn up those feelings so that you are feeling even more confident – even more totally in control – even more powerful. The only limit is the depth of your imagination.

The Technique

Step 1

Be clear about the resourceful state of mind you wish to have – above it was described as being totally confident, fully in control, totally powerful – but you should use your own words to describe the state you want to be in.

Step 2

Decide on an ‘anchor’ you will use to fire off the totally confident (etc.) feeling. The desired state of mind will be ‘anchored’ to an easily repeated gesture, or phrase or symbol. This might be squeezing the top of your little finger or making a tight fist with your hand. Or it could be a phrase you say in your mind such as “I’m confident – really confident!” or “yes, yes!”. Or it may be something you see – a symbol perhaps. Just remember that you will need to repeat this ‘anchor’ at the start of your interview or presentation, so the anchor should be easy to repeat in the appropriate situation.

Step 3

Go back to a time in the past when you felt totally confident (or however you describe it) – to a specific occasion when you felt totally confident – and re-live the experience so that you see what you saw, heard what you heard, smell what you smelt, and feel what you felt.

Step 4

Just before the experience reaches its peak – when the sights, sounds, smell and feelings are almost at their strongest – anchor it as described in Step 2.

Step 5

Now think of something totally different or look out the window and notice what is happening outside. Just come out of the state you entered. Now fire off your anchor again and notice the extent to which you feel totally confident (or however you describe it). If it is not as intense as you want it to be, repeat the process to more closely link the anchor and the desired feeling of total confidence.

Repeat this process often to reinforce the link between the anchor and your desired state of feeling totally confident. Repetition will keep the anchor active so that you can be confident just when you need it.

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