As hard as you might try, being likeable isn’t always easy.
But improving how much people like you and enjoy interacting with you, can have many benefits for your career prospects and relationships.
So here are a few science-backed suggestions to help improve your interactions with others:
- Let the other person talk about themselves – We all derive pleasure from talking about ourselves. In fact, the pleasurable feeling we gain is strong enough to act as a mood enhancer.
- Draw on their knowledge – No one likes a know-it-all. When you ask for advice, you allow the other person to be the expert. It makes them feel good and also makes you more likeable/persuasive.
- Don’t be gloomy all the time – Sure, we all have down days. However, moods can be contagious. If your moods are upbeat, you’ll discover that the moods of others will be more positive around you as well.
- Be inquisitive about his/her life – Two questions can show an interest in another’s life. Ask about a positive experience they’ve recently experienced. Once that question is answered, ask about their everyday life. A happy topic, brought on by your inquiry, will help another to associate you with that positive feeling. It will also make the subsequent discussion more positive and enjoyable.
- Show admiration – When you voice your appreciation for a person’s actions, they eventually begin to notice the same traits in you. The scientific term is, “Spontaneous trait transference.”
- Let it be your fault once in a while – By showing simple human traits such as the ability to make a mistake, you become more likeable. There’s nothing wrong with being human.
- Show an honest appreciation for others – When talking with someone, making positive comments about other people shows your ability to see the good traits in people. Appreciation always looks better than negative comments and gossip. According to Professor Richard Wiseman, if you say positive and pleasant things about people, you are seen as a nice person (and vice versa).
- Establish a physical connection – A light/casual touch that comes about during interaction with others, shows a comfort level and familiarity that makes you more likeable.
These scientifically derived ideas are just the tip of the iceberg on the ocean of personal interaction and likeability. What method(s) do you employ to make yourself more likeable?